There are certain moments in your life you just do not forget and when they pop up in your mind it feels like it happened just a while ago. So clear, so definitive is the memory.
Is this the one? No. There were no tires. Not this one either, it was a left-hand bend. Not this one, no. There are so many curves, how could he have been so fast when he … This must be the one: no tires, just the naked wall. It is a long curve, it a fast one.
Then the camera switches and off it goes, suddenly, unexpected, like a little jet. The car crashes against the wall, like an arrow hit its target. The car lost traction in the very moment of were it should happen if you would have planned it.
He new something was going to happen, after a crashed in the training for that particular race and it felt different this time. He new something was going to happen, when he woke up this morning, took the Bible and read a phrase saying, that he (God) would make him (the believer) a present – himself. He knew something was going to happen, when he talked to a friend who told him to quit and instead of driving one of the fastest cars in the world to go fishing with him.
He drove the car. He died. But that you know already. SENNA is a documentary about Ayrton Senna, who was the Michael Schumacher of his time. It is a movie at the same time, for it goes like a movie, and it feels like a movie.
You often feel amused. You sometimes feel moved to tears. You wonder about the home video style. You feel the competition, the anger about politics. You understand what he was driven by, though he seemed not so much driven, but only just doing it. Do not get me wrong: he loved what he did and he certainly was ambitious. But in a different way than Michael Schumacher was. That might be for cultural reasons and for his believes. He felt that what he did, that he was able and facilitated to drive a Formula One car, was given to him by God. It was not a privilege, just what he was meant to do.
And from that perspective he might have felt obliged to go on this race, even though he felt maybe losing his life. Maybe he made his peace with himself before the race and thanked God for what he had given to him and accepted when he was signaled that it was time to sacrifice. He was a modest man.
Maybe the car, which he felt bad about all season long, just broke in that particular moment, when surviving was impossible, since the angle at which the car took off the track would only make his head touch the wall so hard. No bone was broken, no pressure marks.